Thursday, May 17, 2007
Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi ta'ala wabarrakatuh
Hmm.. i changed my blog address n made it more chim-inated. Why? caz too many ppl noe abt my blog n i hafta start making it as descrete as possible. yeh. duh ryt.. my blog is supposedly a replacement for my diary, n diary=secret. tho itz not a total secret, it still can be as descrete as possible. wala!
newayz, read rahman's blog. alaz i gotta noe sum1 hu's doing wad i'm doing. as in dun look for jodoh, let jodoh come to me. if dere's jodoh, i'll be happily married. if no jodoh, i'll be happily trying to be successful in my career n oso dakwah-ing to dose ppl hu nd me. Fuh! only God noes wad i really wanna do in future. sum ppl went lyk -> u sure? u hafta look for jodoh u noe or u myt not even c dat itz ur jodoh. n i was lyk, even if i dun look for it, my parents myt end up matchmaking me to sum1. haha. i'm happy with my typical lyf n u, yes u, dun hafta tell me watta do. caz i dun want u to tell me n i juz dun lyk it. itz so rimas-ing, can. n coming baq to jodoh topic. my mum told me d exact ting. let jodoh come to u, u dun hafta look for it. pay ur fullest attention to ur studies. n i was lyk, yeh, dat was d exact ting dat kept appearing in my mind n i'm gonna do juz dat. n my beloved abg dared me to not tink abt jodoh now n be successful fers. n me, being d dun-dare-me-or-u'll-gasp person accepted d dare. moreover, itz caz i tink datz a gd idea. hmm... i lurve challenges.. *grins*
n yes, I'm paying my fullest attention to my devotion towards my religion n definitely, Allah. i'm not letting dose seytons out dere tell me to go out n haf fun. n itz lyk hello, agn, i'm a family person. n i'm a home-y person. i lurve staying in. ouh wow, i'll be a gd wife.. haha.. dun sneer!
hmmz.. noe wadz.. i was tinking abt me; study rabakz n den, get a career i want, n be successful. n den make my parents happy.. n after dat, marriage? agn, wad if i earn more than my husband? n he expects me to quit my job? hu in d world wants to lose d career u've alwayz wanted, but at d same tym, u wanna be a blessed wife.. datz a real dilemma. haha. i juz need an understanding husband. but of course, he can't rely on my pays. datz not a blessed husband. tsk. agn, usually, gd husbands hu r devoted to religion n oso a gd leader to d family, plus an understanding one.. hmm.. dat doesn't come in packages. d rest of d tings i want my husband to be shan't be mentioned here. well, better not expect much tho. nobody's perfect. lyk i'm not perfect either, so y shud i look for d ideal perfect husband? God has promised -> gd person will be matchmade with gd person. but one ting for sure, i dun want a husband shorter than i m. lyk i seriously do not want dat. HORROR!
some ppl told me dat i've been really harsh dese dayz n kinda emotion-less. agn, y do u ppl tink sum1 become harsh? bad experiences ryt? lyk as for me, failures in love life made me dese way. i noe sum ppl will be saying, "but u can choose not to be dat". my answer is -> i want to be dat. i'm stiffening my heart in order not to let anth stifle me from achieving my ambition. i wanna succeed. and to make dat possible, i can't fall in love agn. i fear i'll be hurt agn n dat stifles me from succeeding. get wad i mean? i'd rather be harsh so dat nobody can fall in love with me n den, i wun fall in love with anybody. i'm 50% learning to hate guyz but dere's still another 50% for me not to hate guyz. ah well, wadever it is. i'm sure u noe wad my reason is for being so harsh. i'm sorri if i hurt anyone. it wasn't intentionally caz i'm trying my bez not to hurt anyone in d midst of stiffening my heart. if i did hurt u, alert me, k, caz as humanz, we r prone to mistakes w/out realising it.
laz issue: i haf chinese friends telling me dey do not understand some posts. i'm sori. u dun hafta noe d posts written in malay. u can read dose in English, ryt? haha. n as for my malaysian friends, u can read my posts in malay ryt? well, fair enough isn't it?
i suppose i needa end my post here. i needa start studying for my PERGAS exam. pray for me, can? *shivers*
Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi ta'ala wabarrakatuh
20:43
