Saturday, October 02, 2004
i'm totally shattered now. the Farzana then is totally different from the Farzana now. i dun smile n be cheerful n be friendly anymore. Now, i only noe how to walk pass ppl.. no mood to say hi, no mood to smile. i juz dun have any mood for anything. All i can do is to frown. Yes! i noe dat dis seem to be a big change but yes! itz not on purpose, itz juz totally no mood. i'm posting dis so dat ppl will noe dat i'm not proud.. i'm juz not in the mood. i might smile but it might look unsincere. but itz the bez smile i can give for now... damn! i'm so deprived! i'm juz totally heart-broken.. my heart has totally shattered to uncountable unfixable pieces. yeah... try to cheer me up.. itz not impossible n neither is it possible. but there's more percentage on the impossible side... yeah.. itz not on purpose but i juz find it so blardy hard to smile. yeah.. lyk sylvester (singapore idol) laz tym.. yeah... haiz... i'm lyk so deprived caz sum1 accused me of sumting i never did n got me involved in it! eh.. i never mentioned hu n wad the problem is! so stop accusing me if u read dis! i've had enough! argh! i'm ignoring u but i DUN HATE U. i told u dat I DUN HATE U N I NEVER WILL... i mean it den n i mean it now.. geddit! STOP SCOLDING ME! GET A LYF OF UR OWN, DAMN IT! GET A LYF! GET A LYF! GET A LYF! ARGH!!!! if u tink i got no lyf, u speak for ur ownself ar! I'M TIRED OF LISTENING TO U! N I'M SO INGORING U! SPEAK TO THE WALLS! I AIN'T CARING ANYMORE! HATE ME ALL U WANT! I DIDN'T INTERFERE, DAMN IT! N I'LL NEVER! URGH!!!!! ARGH!!!!!! i'm so freaking pissed k! i can't slp becaz of u.. i cry becaz of u.. DAMN IT! Farzana, y shud u cry for sum1 hu makes u cry... if u teraser when reading dis, not my prob... u dun cum scolding me agn caz ppl dunno hu i'm talking abt in here. SIAPER YG MAKAN CILI, DIER YG TERASER PEDASNYER! stop accusing me when itz ur own fault, damn it! i'm pissed with u tho i dun hate u! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP RUINING MY LYF N AFFECTING MY STUDIES WHICH DETERMINES MY FUTURE, damn it! LEAVE ME ALONE! ARGH!!! do u noe dat i had heart-problem juz now from all the hurt u caused n my heart was terribly aching! alryt... farzana... chill... K, i guess itz better talking abt today's events which were better. archeli, today was a sucky day! totally sucky! m.indah, shafiqah, surayya, 'asyura, pei jun n i went back to school to study ar... m.indah n shaf went to school together.. how cute.. n den ryt.. itz lyk we were laughing n joking until i received sum1's msg n i started crying. n den, surayya was suddenly pressurised.. u noe the veh painful ting dat struck ur brain when u're stress? dat one ar.. n den, she cried. n den, pj was upset abt sum stuff which she refused to tell us abt n she oso cried.. n then, shafiqah was lyk pissed with dunno wad oso.. n 'asyura was pissed with the guy hu kept msging her mushy stuff n calling her n when she picked up, the guy hung up... wad the freak ryt! yeah.. so its lyk.. only m.indah was ok.. she veh quiet ar.. she can survive not talking for 5 mins! i can't even survive for 1 minute k! hahaz.. how coolz ryt.. n den, shaf was lyk singing in front of m.indah. usually, she'll be shy2 liddat.. hahaz.. n then, pj went home earlier than us caz her mother expected her to be home by certain tym. n then, we went home oso ar.. but later than pj ar. shaf sat beside m.indah n both of them were slping. n shaf almost leaned on m.indah's shoulder! how cute!!! lol... we were eagerly waiting for that to happen n asy spoilt it! haiz... lol... n then, when we reached tampines interchange... su, asy n i went another way n shaf n m.indah went another way... n then, when we were waiting for bus 81, shaf msged dat m.indah asked her if she wanna go home early n she said no n they both went out together.. so gd ryt!!! lol.. wad a cute untr8 couple! ah well.. when i reached home, i was alryt ar n was spending tym with my siblings. had a gr8 tym. i was alryt until i remembered abt kena scolding by dis particular sum1. ah well.. i veh slpy n tired liaoz.. gotta end postie here... *yawnz* note the lol.. itz for nth.. i dun laugh at all.. haiz...
23:46


Identity: Princess Farzana
Age: 17
School: Tanjong Katong Girls' School
Birthday: 4th April 1990
Castle: Pasir Ris, Singapore
I[The Princess Idolises]I
~Siti Khadijah
~Aisyah Humaira
~Fatimah Az-Zahra
~Rabiatul Adawiyah
~Sumaiyah
~Ainul Mardhiah
~Zinnirah
I[The Princess Loves]I
~Chocolates
~Roses
~teddy bears
~read love novels
~enjoying & appreciating nature
~writing poetries
~nice cute stuff which are purple, pink, white n black
~Everything abt Islam such as..
-Listening to Quran recitation by Misyari Afasi
-Listening to Zikrullah by Hijjaz
-Islam research
-Attending religious functions or events
-Planning events for Muslim youths [duh.. y do u tink i becum a Muslim youth activist]
~Purple, pink, black, white
~Loves kids!!! [duh.. y do u tink i do child-minding ryt..]
I[The Princess's Personality]I
~loving and lovable
~smile and laugh a lot
~bubbly
~true socialite
~happy-go-lucky
~annoying [I KNOW]
~can be complicated at times.. so, getta know me.. lol
~haf gd listening ears n shoulders to cry on
~loves home
~loves the library
~loves the mosque
~juz another human in Allah's list
I[The Princess Has]I
-dearestest someone, sometwo, somethree
-annoying but sweet younger brother n younger sister
-loving, understanding n supportive mama
-religious papa
I[Summary of The Princess]I
~a very simple girl who is devoted to Allah, Islam, her family and whoever she's committed to
~someone who has goals and dreams and would not let anyone stifle me from achieving them
~Honestly, guys who wear shorts in public turn me off. Disgusting can!
~a freelance volunteer. Lyk any Islam organisations or mosques which nd xtra help, can approach me. Insya'Allah will help if I'm not busy
~lurves kidz yepz! LOTZ!
CINDERELLA
* I CAN SLAY MY OWN DRAGON
* I CAN DREAM MY OWN DREAMS
* THE NIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR IS ME
When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story
It always was about a Princess in distress
And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory
I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me
I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' old old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no-one else
I'd rather rescue myself
Someday I'm gonna find someone
who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am Don't need nobody taking care of me
I will be there for him
just as strong as he will be there for me
when I get myself started
it got to be an equal thing
I can slay, my own dragon
I can dream, my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free
Lke cinderella
on dusty cellar