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Sunday, October 03, 2004
Haiz.. I've been making ppl close to me worry juz caz I'm not being me. I dun smile n stay cheerful as b4. I'm sori y'all.. Itz juz seems to hard for me to smile.. haiz.. I really miss the old her so much.. she changed lotz.. i really cannot accept the fact dat she actually accused me of tings i neva did. She; the person whom I look up to, the person whom I cherish. Haiz.. d person whom I respect.. d person.. d person.. haiz.. shall forget it.. I wud lyk to type dis out but itz in mly.. sori to non-malayz.. "Ku tidak pernah menyintamu untuk megasihiku. Dan apatah lagi mengasihaniku juga tidak sama sekali. Ku sedar sebenarnya kita, tiada pertalian. Cuma satu arah serta satu tujuan mencari keberkatannya. Aku terkenangkan saat manis dulu. Tak pernah kau meninggi suara bila bertanya. Keras... hanyalah luar aku. Lembut... tetap di dalam hati. Mana habis setakat itu. Takku biar berpanjangan. Biar aku berdiam diri. Dengan hati yang lumut dendam. Kau tak usah lagi bertanya... Takku bersuara.." I noe dat I'm going half-senile. Call me crazy, call me blind.. Call me unstr8, call me les.. I dun care abt anth nemore.. Itz true dat I've sacrificed so much for her.. N now, i even sacrificed my feelings n thoughts n d frenship with her for her happiness n to save d friendship which she tries to save.. But yeah.. she'll never c it caz she wun even care.. she said she will care but haiz.. if she's even given a a lyf for eternity, she wun care.. she juz wun. I dunno if I even regret getting to noe her. Haiz.. I dun feel lyk going to the year end farewell.. I juz can't face her nemore caz I dun wish to develop n hatred towards her. Not at all.. if I were to develop a hatred for her, she'll be d fers person for me to hate caz I dun hate anyone. I dun wish to go to school tmr. I really feel weak. I can't concentrate on my studies.. Farzana, u have to try no matter wad.. dun give up.. be lyk the Farzana ppl used to noe.. alwayz game for anything n alwayz determined.. n dat Farzana was a cheerful, happy-go-lucky plus easy-going person hu doesn't despair about losing. Datz d Farzana ppl want to have back.. For the sake of these people, you gotta strive hard, Farzana.. dun give up.. u still have lyf ahead of u.. I got carried away.. talking to myself.. damn.. I've shed enough tears for now. Crying over sum1 hu makes me cry is useless.. I wun gain anything. It'll juz make me more deprived. Every droplet of my tears dat flows, determines how hurt I am. So, since I've been crying everyday especially when trying to go to sleep, dat shows dat I am VERY VERY HURT N SHATTERED. Haiz.. y am i still whining becaz of her.. itz useless.. I'd better stop my post here n continue studying. I'm not gonna continue being lyk dis juz caz of sum1 hu doesn't respect me n expects me to respect her only. Datz so selfish of her! Haiz.. I have to try forget about her! I noe i'm stronger than this. Come on, Farzana!
22:30
Identity: Princess Farzana
Age: 17
School: Tanjong Katong Girls' School
Birthday: 4th April 1990
Castle: Pasir Ris, Singapore
I[The Princess Idolises]I
~Siti Khadijah
~Aisyah Humaira
~Fatimah Az-Zahra
~Rabiatul Adawiyah
~Sumaiyah
~Ainul Mardhiah
~Zinnirah
I[The Princess Loves]I
~Chocolates
~Roses
~teddy bears
~read love novels
~enjoying & appreciating nature
~writing poetries
~nice cute stuff which are purple, pink, white n black
~Everything abt Islam such as..
-Listening to Quran recitation by Misyari Afasi
-Listening to Zikrullah by Hijjaz
-Islam research
-Attending religious functions or events
-Planning events for Muslim youths [duh.. y do u tink i becum a Muslim youth activist]
~Purple, pink, black, white
~Loves kids!!! [duh.. y do u tink i do child-minding ryt..]
I[The Princess's Personality]I
~loving and lovable
~smile and laugh a lot
~bubbly
~true socialite
~happy-go-lucky
~annoying [I KNOW]
~can be complicated at times.. so, getta know me.. lol
~haf gd listening ears n shoulders to cry on
~loves home
~loves the library
~loves the mosque
~juz another human in Allah's list
I[The Princess Has]I
-dearestest someone, sometwo, somethree
-annoying but sweet younger brother n younger sister
-loving, understanding n supportive mama
-religious papa
I[Summary of The Princess]I
~a very simple girl who is devoted to Allah, Islam, her family and whoever she's committed to
~someone who has goals and dreams and would not let anyone stifle me from achieving them
~Honestly, guys who wear shorts in public turn me off. Disgusting can!
~a freelance volunteer. Lyk any Islam organisations or mosques which nd xtra help, can approach me. Insya'Allah will help if I'm not busy
~lurves kidz yepz! LOTZ!
CINDERELLA
* I CAN SLAY MY OWN DRAGON
* I CAN DREAM MY OWN DREAMS
* THE NIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR IS ME
When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story
It always was about a Princess in distress
And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory
I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me
I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' old old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no-one else
I'd rather rescue myself
Someday I'm gonna find someone
who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am Don't need nobody taking care of me
I will be there for him
just as strong as he will be there for me
when I get myself started
it got to be an equal thing
I can slay, my own dragon
I can dream, my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free
Lke cinderella
on dusty cellar